The Making of the Holistic Woman by Olivia Uchechukwu
Synopsis
This book guides the modern woman through a deliberate journey of achieving a wholesome personality on all sides. From the state of your mental wellbeing to factors that strengthen the physical, spiritual, emotional, financial and social health of a holistic woman. It is in the elements of the thoughts we entertain, the choice of food we eat, the exercise we engage in, the quality of rest and relaxation we allow ourselves, the positive energy we harvest from the relationships we nurture around us, the deliberate and strategic thoughts we give to managing our financial resources, and most importantly, the wisdom with which we handle the subject of our spirituality. Olivia addresses all these from both personal experiences and proven scientific reports.
After reading this book, the reader would be better empowered to tackle disturbing issues like unstable relationships, poor self-esteem, depression, physical health challenges, financial weaknesses, eating disorders, etc., all arising from the heavy demands on the modern day woman to meet up to society’s domestic, social, economic, parental and religious obligations.
CHAPTER 1
INTRODUCTION
As a little girl, I always dreamed of being a writer someday. The more I wrote poems and short stories, the more I wanted to publish and share my outlook on life. I became a teenager, and the voice of the little girl waned as the influence of my immediate environment became a predominant narrator in my life’s stories.
As a young adult, I started to stumble through life and inadvertently manifest the realities of my perceptions.
And then I became a woman, and suddenly everything changed. I realized that it wasn’t just enough to keep on dreaming. It was finally time to wake up and live my dreams. And I was awoken by the loud realities of the Woman’s world today.
I had come to a place where the women around me were fast rising the corporate ladder and taking their place on the global market scene. At the same time some of these women were also becoming wives, and mothers and somehow in the excitement of the journey before us, we were slowly beginning to forget the little girl that we all once were and the simple pleasures we enjoyed in everyday living. Such as a warm smile from a loved one, or a hot plate of our favorite meal or even a simple run with friends in the neighborhood. I also came to see the pain in the eyes of the women around me who didn’t dare reach for their dreams because they had taken the title of wife and mother and hung it like a noose around their necks and so they were too afraid to do anything because they were held by leashes of their own imaginations.
So I took time off from my own work and started to ask myself questions I should have answered years ago. How did we get here as women? Why are we becoming more economically relevant but less and less satisfied? Why do we ever self-sabotage? And how can we reclaim our lives in such a way that we cast depression and anxiety far away from our door post? How can the modern woman begin to enjoy her life, irrespective of her predicaments, whether she is single or in a relationship, rich or poor, old or young, and irrespective of her past and the path she has chosen for her life?
There was no better place to begin the search for these answers than my very own life and experiences. At 24, I had toured Africa as a stand-up comedienne in the company of other comedy legends like Klint De Drunk, I had established myself and flourished in a career as a prime time radio and TV host, I had become a general manager for a radio station. At 28, I had established my charity foundation and organized three editions of the Everybody Deserves a Merry Christmas project across major African cities, I had produced and hosted a show on a major cable network, Africa Magic, I had hosted notable live shows, conferences and carnivals for multinationals in front of tens of thousands of live guests and even world leaders in attendance, I had started my production company which began shooting our own multi-million Naira reality TV show, my restaurant business was booming, delivering meals to clients in Lagos, Abuja, Enugu and Europe.
All was well and good, or so I thought. I was excelling in my career as a woman, and I had a loving husband. And then I became a mother. And a new dawn began.
Motherhood put such great pressure on me to manifest the highest level of my true self. I was forced to truly consider the quality of life that I was going to impart to my darling daughter whom I love with all my heart. What will I teach her about life? How will I be sure that she grows up happy and enjoys the best quality of life possible? What would her priorities be? I wanted to do right by her so much. And in raising a girl-child, I found myself again. Watching her grow before my eyes made me appreciate the miracle that is our life as women. And to take a closer look at my body, which had borne this beautiful miracle. We often judge our bodies at different times but even more harshly after we bring forth life, focusing more on the changes we undergo rather than on the beautiful stories told by our stretch marks and dark spots. For me, motherhood has and always will be a beautiful blessing, even with all the trials it presents.
But in all my understanding and appreciation of my physical body, alas, I was already struggling. I was struggling to catch my breath as I juggled my roles as businesswoman, role model, wife and now mother. And in my struggle, I forgot the most important person I needed to be always, a WOMAN.
And so, I made the most classic mistake in the books, I began to betray my basic needs as a woman in my bid to be who I thought everybody else needed me to be. An occasional skipping a meal to keep in shape or indulging junks because I didn’t plan better, or delaying bedtime to run one more errand or missing a morning run because the outdoors didn’t feel safe enough, and then judging myself for not being the Superwoman I allowed others trick me into thinking that I was.
It wasn’t until I had my second miscarriage that my already threatened Pandora’s box burst wide open and I was finally forced to look at myself in the mirror. And the woman that looked back at me had so much hurt in her eyes from all the pain of the past amplified by my most recent trials. Pain from the ones who had betrayed me, and from the times I had betrayed myself every time I did not prioritize myself care.
In this time, for the first time in my life, I stopped being strong, stopped resisting and stopped running and finally let all the raw emotions hit me from every corner. Painful and intense blows that felt like my heart was ripped out from within me. My carefree approach to life became tainted as I had been faced with a few struggles with my identity. This was precipitated in no small way by memories of a near sexual abuse that resulted in a physical beating when I tried to speak up about it and then a robbery leading to an abduction that coded fear and anxiety into the blueprint of my existential instincts. These, accompanied by other unpleasant events of my young adult life, had haunted my subconscious and silently triggered a fast-advancing psychological metamorphoses of a personality I detested, yet dreaded to confront.
For the first time, I chose to confront my past and heal myself and the relationships in my life. I wanted to live and to live free of all struggles, shame and pain.
I decided to put my house in order. I realized at this point that I was the biggest hero in my own life story and so I had to show up for myself and step away from every delusion of blame and entitlement. The job of living a holistic lifestyle with good health in spirit, soul and body was all mine. As I explored this discovery, I found true joy and happiness that transcended any outward occurrences and lived safely within me.
In that beautiful moment, frozen forever in history, I chose to love myself and to take care of myself. I made peace with everything and everyone in my past, and by the mercies of God, I was able to shake off the anxiety and fear that had slowly crept in with every unresolved traumas and past challenges and to step fully into the light and as I looked in the mirror again, I could recognize who I was once more. Behold, Woman!
My physical, mental, social, financial and emotional health had been plugged back into fertile ground, and I began to blossom again. It was my mother whose voice rang loud as she answered my question of “why me?” with “why not you?”. Her years as an English Literature teacher had made her thoroughly skilled in the use of probing queries to answer life’s difficult questions and I found her outlook on taking personal responsibility for oneself refreshing. It drew me back to a place where I woke up each morning desiring to pursue a life of Holistic Living where taking care of my own self and getting the appropriate nutrition, hygiene, rest and relationships mattered more in my effective work as a functional member of society.
In all, it was my little daughter that taught me to show up for myself every day. In her cute and adorable way, she would always smile and remind me to eat when I feed her, to take a bath when I bathe her, to brush my hair when I brushed hers, and to get a massage when I massaged her. It was taking care of my daughter that reminded me to take care of me always. And even as I pursue a meaningful career, never to lose sight of myself care and the things that truly matter.
As a mother, wife, sister, daughter and girlfriend, it has finally dawned on me that our path as women has been divinely orchestrated in a way that not only adds color to our world but should colour our own individual experiences in ways that only rainbows dare. It is in this discovery of the balance between the woman and her world that I have finally arrived at a place of awareness, where the realities of my own existence finally outweigh the voices of my perception. And in this place, there are no limitations and the possibilities are endless.
As I look inward again, I draw from my own life experiences and return to the little girl who dreamed dreams and sought only to interpret her dreams. And those dreams are simple; to share my life in a way that empowers the next woman to reach into her innermost heart and begin to manifest her full potential. This is why Chapter 2 begins by addressing our perceptions as women, with a view to get to the root of our thought process understanding fully well that our thoughts form our words which in turn become our actions and our actions become our habits and our habits rule our everyday life.
I know that for myself and for every woman to begin to make the right choices concerning her nutrition, exercise, work, rest and relaxation as well as the relationships she surrounds herself with, she must first come to a place where she first adjusts her mindset and begins to take personal responsibility for her health and wellbeing. If we continue to blame our background, past relationships and those who have hurt us in the past for the choices we make today, then we may never truly take back the control of our lives from them.
Now I acknowledge that this change is not easy, and this is why I have taken the time to walk with you in this journey through the pages of this book. From the state of your mental wellbeing to factors that strengthen the physical, spiritual, emotional, financial and social health of a holistic woman. It is in the elements of the thoughts we entertain, the choice of food we eat, the exercise we engage in, the quality of rest and relaxation we allow ourselves, the positive energy we harvest from the relationships we nurture around us, the deliberate and strategic thoughts we give to managing our financial resources, and most importantly, the wisdom with which we handle the subject of our spirituality.
I address all these with my most painstaking effort at simplicity and clarity. I do this, drawing from a rich pool of universal, yet scarcely contemplated knowledge, thoughtfully critiqued along the rationale of the logical walls that the wells of my lived experiences agreeably accept.
My hope is that, as you read this book, there will be an awakening for you, and you can begin to retrace your steps and align completely to the fullness of the power available to you. You can be the best wife or mother possible, and the best sister or friend ever, and the best colleague or mentor, as well as the most financially stable woman in your generation. Most Importantly, you can have peace inside of you, unperturbed by the troubles of life, whoever you choose to be and wherever life leads you.
Reach for it, be the holistic Woman that you know you were born to be.
We’re in this together, QUEEN.
The world is ready for you and so are you.
Let the journey begin.
Sincerely,
Olivia ‘McOlivia’ Uchechukwu,
Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend,
WOMAN!
